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Cyprus Eastern Forum Index » Coffee Shop Chat » A BRAND NEW GAME { ASYLUM }
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A BRAND NEW GAME { ASYLUM } 
Post: #1   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:23 pm Reply with quote
rtp2010
Joined: 25 Sep 2005
Posts: 568
Pictures: 0

 
>HIJACK A PLANE - WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE
>
>Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's
>programme features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
>Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away
>hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of
>our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest
>growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already
>hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English:
>'ASYLUM'!.
>
>Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at
>£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
>accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone
>buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry
>companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or
>unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember
>the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.
>
>Only this week 140 members of the Taleban family from Afghanistan were
>flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where
>local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their
>luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They
>join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all
>over Britain. Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs
>of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic
>Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's
>no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.
>Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counselors are waiting to help.
>
>It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life
>forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters,
>pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers,
>Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali
>guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry
>park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go
>straight to Britain. And you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands
>of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Roll up, roll up my friends
>for the game that never ends.
>
>Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'
hope you like this one, ronnie
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Post: #2   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:34 pm Reply with quote
DAC
Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 6820
Pictures: 9

 
Its a funny old thing that, I was travelling back to the Big Shmoke in the wee hours this morning when I saw a lone bloke walking down the hard shoulder of the M11 just 100m south of Stansted Services. There were no cars broken down either north or south so the guy had obviously just undone the straps that had kept him tethered to the underside of the lorry from France..! And theres me paying taxes in 2 countries, whos the mug?
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Post: #3   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:35 pm Reply with quote
Tash
Joined: 16 Dec 2005
Posts: 701
Pictures: 0
Location: Frenaros

 
Hi Ronnie,

You have hit the nail right on the head! Applause

There are more immigrants than UK citizens in the UK now, it a soft target for them, they welcome them, there is even a special phone outside arrivals at Stansted, for them to use and its free!!!!!!!
There are people who have been on the housing list for years and these people get them first.
B****y Government ought to be ashamed Evil or Very Mad

Sandie

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Post: #4   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:46 pm Reply with quote
Steve - SJD
Site Admin
Site Admin
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 24480
Pictures: 55

 
Hi,

Personally I think there needs to be a distinction between legal/illegal
immigrants and asylum seekers. Some we need and benefit the country
some we don't. At the moment everyone gets bundled together which I
think is less than helpful. Also there does need to be a tightening of the
controls but how to do that is another question and the solutions are less
than straightforward.

Cheers


Steve
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Post: #5   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:52 pm Reply with quote
Elizavet
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 4873
Pictures: 6

 
Oh Ronnie

Now you will get everyone started. Laughing Laughing

I was driving back from Pontefract on Saturday and at the M62 new M1 interchange I seen a man . a woman and a child rolled up in a blanket all appeared to be of Eastern origins and very dirty and scruffy I thought they look like they have just got of the back of a lorry from the services at Ferrybridge.

Maybe I should have rung the police or someone.

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Elizavet
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Post: #6   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 2:12 pm Reply with quote
stevecroad
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 1936
Pictures: 2
Location: Keighley. West Yorkshire/Sotira

 
Hi,

Nice one Ronnie, spot on!


Steve Croad

And it ain't gonna get any better!!!!

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Post: #7   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:22 pm Reply with quote
journeyman
Joined: 30 Aug 2005
Posts: 1396
Pictures: 36
Location: Dorset

 
Elizavet,
Always thought strange things happen around Ferrybridge, must be the Cas people.
Anyway just to Add this little note, my lad is serving out in Afghanistan and he lost his passport, however he managed to get back into the UK without one, going through 3 country's. Here is the icing on the cake when he was due to return last week he turned up at the Airport(military one) and they refused to fly him untill he had one.

Graham
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Post: #8   PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:42 pm Reply with quote
Elizavet
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 4873
Pictures: 6

 
journeyman wrote:
Elizavet,
Always thought strange things happen around Ferrybridge, must be the Cas people

Graham


Laughing Laughing

If i thought i could get in and out of the country without a passport i would chuck mine away. Smile

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Elizavet
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A BRAND NEW GAME { ASYLUM } 
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