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Cyprus Eastern Forum Index » Meeting-Up » Loss of my soulmate
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Loss of my soulmate 
Post: #1   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 7:55 am Reply with quote
noodles
Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Posts: 25
Pictures: 0
Location: larnaca

 
Hello,

I just lost the love of my life, he passed away Friday 27th June 2014 and I am trying to cope with this loss, and I cant so I find myself on here wondering if anyone is going through the same traumatic and devastating time?

Does anyone know of any physic mediums in the area (Larnaca or Ayia Napa).
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Post: #2   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 7:59 am Reply with quote
Gashead
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 2122
Pictures: 1
Location: Dubai

 
Sorry to hear about your loss. But psychics and mediums aren't the way to go. They are con artists and rely on people in situations like yourself for their income. Nothing better than criminals.
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Re: Loss of my soulmate 
Post: #3   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:02 am Reply with quote
shuggybear
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
Posts: 842
Pictures: 0

 
noodles wrote:
Hello,

I just lost the love of my life, he passed away Friday 27th June 2014 and I am trying to cope with this loss, and I cant so I find myself on here wondering if anyone is going through the same traumatic and devastating time?

Does anyone know of any physic mediums in the area (Larnaca or Ayia Napa).


take care and I hope some one replies soon maybe local church etc
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Post: #4   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:03 am Reply with quote
jb1
Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Posts: 1260
Pictures: 0
Location: kiti

 
I am sorry to hear that you have lost someone so close to you. Would you consider phoning Cyprus Samaritans on 8000 7773, they may be able to give you information of any bereavement/ counselling sites. Please do not try to find a medium, that is not the answer, you need someone who will listen to you and help you at this very sad time. Joyce
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loss of my soulmate 
Post: #5   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:45 am Reply with quote
noodles
Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Posts: 25
Pictures: 0
Location: larnaca

 
thank you Joyce but the only one who can help me is not coming back he is gone, but thanks for the advice.
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Post: #6   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:43 am Reply with quote
scottie
Joined: 01 Feb 2012
Posts: 7619
Pictures: 0
Location: kapparis

 
Hello
So sorry to hear of your loss and can only imagine what you must be feeling.
I don't know of any mediums it is somewhat frowned upon here and I think the advice given by other members is really good advice, steer clear at least until you are able to think more clearly. Crying or Very sad
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Post: #7   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:47 am Reply with quote
billibob
Joined: 08 Mar 2014
Posts: 723
Pictures: 0

 
I have found great comfort in mediums but i agree you have to make sure you find a genuine one.

This post isnt intended to be a debate - it is purely my personal view. It is a matter of belief and i believe very strongly in the after life. It comes down to individual's personal beliefs and experiences.

I dont know of any in this area but I do hope you find some comfort and help soon in your life.
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Post: #8   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 10:06 am Reply with quote
LynSab
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 4739
Pictures: 1
Location: Vrysoulles, Cyprus/Wales UK

 
We all have different ways to deal with grief, I only hope you give yourself time before you go to psychics, first you need to adjust to the loss of a loved one, which I can't imagine is easy.

Is there a person in your life that is a good listener? I find talking stuff out brings the emotions and tears out, but it is very cathartic....but for you it's still very raw and I'm guessing you are still in shock.

IMO call the experts, grief counsellers know exactly how to react and guide you thru such pain, then later on down the line, visit meduims but go with a friend out of curiousty not out of expectation.

Lots of virtual hugs [[[[[[ hug ]]]]]]

There must be grief counsellers in Cyprus, here is a link to the NHS re grief counselling..

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/bereavement/Pages/coping-with-bereavement.aspx
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Post: #9   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:36 pm Reply with quote
Santorini Paul 1
Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 2736
Pictures: 0
Location: Dherynia

 
Hi Noodles,
Really sorry it is such a bad time for you. I have only lost family from the generation older than me so the pain does not compare to yours.
I can say that from their reaction of a husband losing a wife and vice versa that it does get better with time. I know it's easy to say but I have seen it happen.

In the meantime I would suggest you try and get out and about when you feel able. Maybe some organised activity where you don't have to put too much effort in yourself.

I notice you were looking for a poodle. How about working at a sanctuary for a while. I imagine that would keep you busy and you would be first in line if the right dog came along.

I would invite you around as we have great neighbours who like to get together but we won't be in Cyprus until October at the earliest.
Would like to meet you then maybe?

Please feel free to email if you need a chat about whatever.
We also have Skype and Facetime in the UK so can talk for free if you have the same or for peanuts if you only have a local number.

Regards,
Paul.
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Post: #10   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 3:37 pm Reply with quote
Kwacka
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Joined: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 15488
Pictures: 3
Location: Republic of Cyprus

 
Hi Noodles,

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

At the moment your grief will feel like a raw wound that will never heal, but with time the pain should become less raw (even though you may well think this impossible at the moment). The pain you feel at this time is 'normal'.

You will probably pass through, some say, the various stages of grief but eventually will come an acceptance of your loss. This does not mean that you will forget or that everything will be 'alright', but that you will be able to remember the good times with a smile and (sometimes) a tear, but it will take time.

As I said, grieving is a normal human process and I would agree with others, a medium is unlikely to be the answer. When I was working I did not see people for problems with grief until they had had enough time to work through their grief naturally; trying to treat them earlier may well 'muddy the waters'. Instead I would suggest they contact the UK charity 'Cruse'. Cruse Bereavement Care offers free of charge leaflets and books (and other services) that may be useful to you.

My thoughts are with you at this time of loss.

_________________
If a democracy cannot change its mind, it ceases to be a democracy - David Davis (British politician)
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loss of my soulmate 
Post: #11   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 3:57 pm Reply with quote
noodles
Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Posts: 25
Pictures: 0
Location: larnaca

 
Hi everyone actually my name is Anita.....I have lost Michael Lewis Carpenter the best thing that has ever happened to me apart from my 2 kids of course.

I find it rather embarrassing to talk on a website but i am at a loss with myself and still in shock he has gone, he suffered for a long time.

We were together for just over 4 years and in all the time we were always in the hospital but i was devoted to him regardless of his health issues.

This year we had a lot of plans going back to the UK, getting finally married and much more. Michael was only 42 years his bithday is on Sunday 6th July he would have been 43. He has gone and i am alone, lost and scared and devastated.

I know he felt the same way for me as i felt for him, so now what do i do?

Anyway thank you for all you kind words and advice.

Anita
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Post: #12   PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:18 pm Reply with quote
Elizavet
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 4877
Pictures: 6

 
Anita,
I am sorry for your loss, it's unbearable.
My husband passed away in January, we were told he had terminal cancer in June last year. While he was living my time was taken up trying to make his last few months on this earth as easy as possible. I never cried in front of him or our 2 girls , I cried when I was on my own. When he passed away, I knew it was coming and I knew I could do nothing to stop it.

I was lucky to have a good team of family , work friends and neighbours here in the UK as well as the support of good friends and neighbours when I come over to Cyprus. It is almost 6 months now since I lost my husband and although I have learned to cope with it, it has not got easier, but I am battling on learning to cope, he wanted me to carry on with my life as normal as I could. Monday is our anniversary 40 odd years we were married. I miss him and always will. I try to remember our happy times together and not dwell on the present.

I talk about him everyday to my family, friends, neighbours, work friends they like to hear about things we did over the years, I find just talking everyday about things he did , we did helps me to get by, everyday when I want to cry, I remind myself, he would not want me to be like this.

It's hard and it will not get easier but iI like to think he is watching over me every minute of the day, I have had to "train myself " to quickly think of the good times , when something he did or said, one of the many songs he loved comes on the radio , for weeks I could not listen to his IPod now am I starting to listen a little everyday.

I wish I was in Cyprus to give you some support, everyone is kind but it's the feeling that they are gone and you are here on your own that breaks your heart,

I did not use mediums I leaned heavily on my friends around me and thankfully they gave me all their support, They knew him, they could talk with me about things he did, things he said, what he was like, that's all I want, pepople to talk about him an remember him.

It is early days and your pain is unbearable I am not going to say it will get easier it's just that we have to learn to cope with it,

_________________
Elizavet
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Loss of soulmate 
Post: #13   PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:35 pm Reply with quote
screwy
Joined: 02 Apr 2009
Posts: 147
Pictures: 0

 
Dear Noodles, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and nothing anyone can say will stop the pain. I lost my husband 12 years ago and was also trained to do Bereavement Counselling. All I can say is your grief is personal to you and you are the only one who knows how it feels. Talking helps but you will discover that you need to find the right person as some people ,though well meaning, do not help. Although the fact that they care can be a comfort.
After my bereavement I did receive some counselling myself and there is one piece of advice that was very helpful. Do what you feel you must do. If you want to stay in bed all day, do so. If you want to cry and scream , do so. Do not take any notice of others expectations, ie: after a few months 'you must be getting over it', for example.
It does ease with time but don't put any pressure on yourself to do what others expect.
I hope this has been of some, little, help.
Take care of yourself , Sue x
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Loss of soulmate 
Post: #14   PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2014 2:24 pm Reply with quote
lindybelle
Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 11
Pictures: 0
Location: Frenaros

 
Hi, I'm sorry, but just caught up with this string.

I have also been recently bereaved but had the support of many friends here and one especially who is in similar circumstances to me.

As so many expats came here to retire, it goes without saying that many more will face what is a devasting blow. Some survivors return to the UK to find support in family and friends, but also many decide to stay here and rely on phone calls and Skype.

As there is little in the way of support groups here in Cyprus or bereavement councelling, would there be any enthusiasm for starting some monthly get together in order to give each other some support?

I am willing to organise or coordinate one if there is sufficient need.

Linda
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Re: Loss of soulmate 
Post: #15   PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:21 pm Reply with quote
paulmaybury
Joined: 13 Nov 2013
Posts: 8
Pictures: 0
Location: Sotira

 
Yes, I'd be very happy to host a group. I am happy to be contacted via this forum or on 99376551. I am an Anglican Priest living in Sotira and leading a church in Deryneia. I am a qualified Life Coach and work with all the Anglican churches on the island.
Paul
lindybelle wrote:
Hi, I'm sorry, but just caught up with this string.

I have also been recently bereaved but had the support of many friends here and one especially who is in similar circumstances to me.

As so many expats came here to retire, it goes without saying that many more will face what is a devasting blow. Some survivors return to the UK to find support in family and friends, but also many decide to stay here and rely on phone calls and Skype.

As there is little in the way of support groups here in Cyprus or bereavement councelling, would there be any enthusiasm for starting some monthly get together in order to give each other some support?

I am willing to organise or coordinate one if there is sufficient need.

Linda
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