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Post: #1   PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:43 pm Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
We arrived last wednesday, so have been here for 9 days now. I feel so depessed much of the time as I feel that we have made a huge mistake. Our youngest daughter is absolutely distrought, she is not sleeeping and is being sick. She says that she feels that she has nowhere to go. She is at uni in Sheffild and shares a house with friends. I don't know what to say to her. I feel like I've totally let her down and abandond her. We're sruck here as we bought 2 apartments and until one of them is sold we can't afford to move back to the Uk. I feel really panicky at the thought of having to stay here. The people we have met are lovely and have made us welcome, but its not my home with my family. Our older daughter and our son seem to be coping better, but I'm worried sick about Lizzie. We had a nice house with a beautiful garden in the UK, but I'd be happy to live in a little teraced house if only we could go home.
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Post: #2   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:17 am Reply with quote
LynSab
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 4739
Pictures: 1
Location: Vrysoulles, Cyprus/Wales UK

 
Deb give yourself a big hug, I have just quickly looked thru your other posts you have it seems just got over a major op then packed up your family home (and helped your son move) and you have been planning this for some time to come and live here. Now you're done, what you feel is normal, your missing the familiar and getting used to the unknown, believe me you need a bit more time, nine days is not enough.

There is lots of stuff here in Cyprus to do as well before you feel you have really arrived as well, all of this takes some time. Please give yourself some time to relax first though, you have just moved house traumatic in itself and I would think that you are still healing from your op.

It will get better honestly, it sounds to me as if you have planned and thought this thru properly and carefully so now relax and start to enjoy. One day you will wake up and think this is not so bad.

You sound as if you have met some lovely people where you live tell them how you feel and ask them how they dealt with coming here to live. Those of us who have been here some time are always willing to help.

As for your daughter thats more difficult, I assume she is in her twenties and the youngest? Was happy for you till you actually left then reality set in, she is missing you and therefore you feel its all your fault, just talk her thru as often as possible, are you on Skype? that will help. One day she will ignore you texts and phone call as she is 'too busy' then you will know she is ok Smile Maybe get her here for Christmas and show her around, that can be hard when they go but I have four children who I left behind (not abandoned) they are strong and independent and don,t need me always there now, I see them all the time, they would be here more if flights where cheaper. Our youngest is a young man and we phoned him more than the others because of this, he is now a fab independent young man living in his own place and nothing fazes him, he is now taking a teacher training course in London, all done and decided by himself Very Happy

This will happen to you daughter too, she senses or knows you are suffering too maybe? This worries her no doubt, I would start telling her the positive stuff about Cyprus and soon she will relax knowing you are ok.

Look back on what you have achieved to get here realise that you did,nt do it on a whim, you did everything right and now you are grieving a little for the life you left behind, don,t worry it will all go away, you will be fine give it at least a year and see how you feel then ok. Use this Forum to ask and talk things out it is the 'bible' of Cyprus.

We too left a family home of twenty years behind I don,t think about it anymore I am too busy living a life here, we have been here nearly three years, there WILL be ups and downs but one day soon you will have much less downs. Good Luck Smile
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Post: #3   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:09 am Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
Hi Lynne,
Thanks for your reply. We have already booked flights for our youngest who is 19 to come out on 14th December for 2 weeks, It's my 50th birthday in january and my mum and stepdad are comimg over then, my eldest daughter is a teacher and is coming hopefully in february half term, my son hopes to come in march an my sister and niece are planning on coming for 2 weeks in may! I know that I'm panicking too soon and I need to give myself time to settle in, but when Lizzie is breaking her heart on the phone it just kills me. Please keep in touch, I know that I sound like a moaning minnie, but when I read your reply it did make sense and made me feel better.
Debbie
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Post: #4   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:13 am Reply with quote
stephy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Posts: 47
Pictures: 0

 
Look on your new life as an adventure give yourself time .Your daughter will grow and be happy because we all do so dont worry .If after 1 or 2 years you still feel the same then you can think again .Dont rush into anything slowly slowly enjoy new things tell yourself it does not have to be forever if you dont want it to be .If the pressure is off i think it makes you feel so much better i am sure you will grow to love your new life with lots of people coming to visit making it so much fun .You will be fine xxxxxxxx Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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Post: #5   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:45 am Reply with quote
Gashead
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 2122
Pictures: 1
Location: Dubai

 
Your daughter sounds incredibly selfish. She goes to Uni at 19 and then does this to you??? Hopefully she'll settle in herself. I wouldn't waste two years, you'll know if you've made a mistake in two months and can move on.
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Post: #6   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:07 am Reply with quote
Andrew Brooks
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 2736
Pictures: 0
Location: Larnaca

 
LynSab wrote:
Deb give yourself a big hug, I have just quickly looked thru your other posts you have it seems just got over a major op then packed up your family home (and helped your son move) and you have been planning this for some time to come and live here. Now you're done, what you feel is normal, your missing the familiar and getting used to the unknown, believe me you need a bit more time, nine days is not enough.

There is lots of stuff here in Cyprus to do as well before you feel you have really arrived as well, all of this takes some time. Please give yourself some time to relax first though, you have just moved house traumatic in itself and I would think that you are still healing from your op.

It will get better honestly, it sounds to me as if you have planned and thought this thru properly and carefully so now relax and start to enjoy. One day you will wake up and think this is not so bad.

You sound as if you have met some lovely people where you live tell them how you feel and ask them how they dealt with coming here to live. Those of us who have been here some time are always willing to help.

As for your daughter thats more difficult, I assume she is in her twenties and the youngest? Was happy for you till you actually left then reality set in, she is missing you and therefore you feel its all your fault, just talk her thru as often as possible, are you on Skype? that will help. One day she will ignore you texts and phone call as she is 'too busy' then you will know she is ok Smile Maybe get her here for Christmas and show her around, that can be hard when they go but I have four children who I left behind (not abandoned) they are strong and independent and don,t need me always there now, I see them all the time, they would be here more if flights where cheaper. Our youngest is a young man and we phoned him more than the others because of this, he is now a fab independent young man living in his own place and nothing fazes him, he is now taking a teacher training course in London, all done and decided by himself Very Happy

This will happen to you daughter too, she senses or knows you are suffering too maybe? This worries her no doubt, I would start telling her the positive stuff about Cyprus and soon she will relax knowing you are ok.

Look back on what you have achieved to get here realise that you did,nt do it on a whim, you did everything right and now you are grieving a little for the life you left behind, don,t worry it will all go away, you will be fine give it at least a year and see how you feel then ok. Use this Forum to ask and talk things out it is the 'bible' of Cyprus.

We too left a family home of twenty years behind I don,t think about it anymore I am too busy living a life here, we have been here nearly three years, there WILL be ups and downs but one day soon you will have much less downs. Good Luck Smile


Solid advice Lynsab. Kids will cope and one day won't think twice about moving to Australia or somewhere ! Keep talking to her through Skype etc. At the end of the day , you can keep in touch and you're only a few hours away.
To be fair to yourself you have to give it time. If you feel the same in a year or two then it might be time to go back BUT I'd recommend a few visits back for a few weeks at a time before you decide if it's what you really want.
We've been here for a year with our youngest daughter and left 4 others, aged 20 to 26 in England. It does tug at us sometimes but they will cope and be stronger for it, so will we. Nowhere is perfect but life is all about experiences, so give it your best shot.
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Post: #7   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:48 am Reply with quote
leoni
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 420
Pictures: 0
Location: Oroklini

 
Hi Deb,

Sorry I could not talk to much last night, had family over, but if you just want a chat, email me and I will give you my phone no.

Take care

Leoni
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Post: #8   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:59 am Reply with quote
pantheman
Joined: 27 May 2006
Posts: 4899
Pictures: 0
Location: Ammochostos

 
LynSab wrote:
Deb give yourself a big hug, I have just quickly looked thru your other posts you have it seems just got over a major op then packed up your family home (and helped your son move) and you have been planning this for some time to come and live here. Now you're done, what you feel is normal, your missing the familiar and getting used to the unknown, believe me you need a bit more time, nine days is not enough.

There is lots of stuff here in Cyprus to do as well before you feel you have really arrived as well, all of this takes some time. Please give yourself some time to relax first though, you have just moved house traumatic in itself and I would think that you are still healing from your op.

It will get better honestly, it sounds to me as if you have planned and thought this thru properly and carefully so now relax and start to enjoy. One day you will wake up and think this is not so bad.

You sound as if you have met some lovely people where you live tell them how you feel and ask them how they dealt with coming here to live. Those of us who have been here some time are always willing to help.

As for your daughter thats more difficult, I assume she is in her twenties and the youngest? Was happy for you till you actually left then reality set in, she is missing you and therefore you feel its all your fault, just talk her thru as often as possible, are you on Skype? that will help. One day she will ignore you texts and phone call as she is 'too busy' then you will know she is ok Smile Maybe get her here for Christmas and show her around, that can be hard when they go but I have four children who I left behind (not abandoned) they are strong and independent and don,t need me always there now, I see them all the time, they would be here more if flights where cheaper. Our youngest is a young man and we phoned him more than the others because of this, he is now a fab independent young man living in his own place and nothing fazes him, he is now taking a teacher training course in London, all done and decided by himself Very Happy

This will happen to you daughter too, she senses or knows you are suffering too maybe? This worries her no doubt, I would start telling her the positive stuff about Cyprus and soon she will relax knowing you are ok.

Look back on what you have achieved to get here realise that you did,nt do it on a whim, you did everything right and now you are grieving a little for the life you left behind, don,t worry it will all go away, you will be fine give it at least a year and see how you feel then ok. Use this Forum to ask and talk things out it is the 'bible' of Cyprus.

We too left a family home of twenty years behind I don,t think about it anymore I am too busy living a life here, we have been here nearly three years, there WILL be ups and downs but one day soon you will have much less downs. Good Luck Smile


Lyn, excellent, will you talk to me on a couch for a fee?? Laughing Laughing Laughing
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we're here 
Post: #9   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 11:39 am Reply with quote
emanon
Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Posts: 827
Pictures: 0
Location: Oroklini

 
I do sympathise-I also felt I'd abandoned my boys (27 & 33). Like you I'd brought them up well, and to be independant. Who knows, like a friend's children they might one day emigrate themselves.
E-mails, text, and Skype keep us more in touch than when we lived close to them, and as another writer says, they have busy lives. I look forward to their visits, and they visit because they want to.
Do try to join clubs, help with charity work-I made friends through these.
Just think of the awful weather in the UK!
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Post: #10   PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:53 pm Reply with quote
Jan
Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 982
Pictures: 5
Location: Southport

 
Take each day as it comes and each one will seem to get a little better I am sure. Although some days will be up and some down. If you feel that you really need to then book a flight and pop over to the UK and book into a travel lodge near to your daughter for a quick break. Once you both realise that it is possible to be with each other in a few hours if necessary then you will not feel so far away.
Mix as much as possible now to make a new life and enjoy it all.

Your daughter is 19 and will soon get used to you being in Cyprus when you have chatted on the phone a few times and she has been out to visit and you been back as well. Then she will realise that you are only the same hours away from each other than if she was at Uni in Scotland and you lived in London for instance!!!!!

Cheer up and keep us all up to date with how you are feeling. Big hugs.

_________________
Jan
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Post: #11   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:24 am Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
Thanks everyone for all your repllies, does anyone live either in Oroklini or nearby who can help me with Skype? I had it downloaded in the Uk, but never used it. I've put credit on but it wont let me make a call! Also I can't get my broadband wireless, so there's cables everywhere. As you've probably guessed I'm not very computer literate!
Deb
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Post: #12   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:03 am Reply with quote
LynSab
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 4739
Pictures: 1
Location: Vrysoulles, Cyprus/Wales UK

 
deb49 wrote:
Thanks everyone for all your repllies, does anyone live either in Oroklini or nearby who can help me with Skype? I had it downloaded in the Uk, but never used it. I've put credit on but it wont let me make a call! Also I can't get my broadband wireless, so there's cables everywhere. As you've probably guessed I'm not very computer literate!
Deb


Deb ask this in the computor section someone will talk you thru it, I too rely on others to keep me computor savvy Wink
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Post: #13   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:11 am Reply with quote
LynSab
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Posts: 4739
Pictures: 1
Location: Vrysoulles, Cyprus/Wales UK

 
pantheman wrote:
LynSab wrote:
Deb give yourself a big hug, I have just quickly looked thru your other posts you have it seems just got over a major op then packed up your family home (and helped your son move) and you have been planning this for some time to come and live here. Now you're done, what you feel is normal, your missing the familiar and getting used to the unknown, believe me you need a bit more time, nine days is not enough.

There is lots of stuff here in Cyprus to do as well before you feel you have really arrived as well, all of this takes some time. Please give yourself some time to relax first though, you have just moved house traumatic in itself and I would think that you are still healing from your op.

It will get better honestly, it sounds to me as if you have planned and thought this thru properly and carefully so now relax and start to enjoy. One day you will wake up and think this is not so bad.

You sound as if you have met some lovely people where you live tell them how you feel and ask them how they dealt with coming here to live. Those of us who have been here some time are always willing to help.

As for your daughter thats more difficult, I assume she is in her twenties and the youngest? Was happy for you till you actually left then reality set in, she is missing you and therefore you feel its all your fault, just talk her thru as often as possible, are you on Skype? that will help. One day she will ignore you texts and phone call as she is 'too busy' then you will know she is ok Smile Maybe get her here for Christmas and show her around, that can be hard when they go but I have four children who I left behind (not abandoned) they are strong and independent and don,t need me always there now, I see them all the time, they would be here more if flights where cheaper. Our youngest is a young man and we phoned him more than the others because of this, he is now a fab independent young man living in his own place and nothing fazes him, he is now taking a teacher training course in London, all done and decided by himself Very Happy

This will happen to you daughter too, she senses or knows you are suffering too maybe? This worries her no doubt, I would start telling her the positive stuff about Cyprus and soon she will relax knowing you are ok.

Look back on what you have achieved to get here realise that you did,nt do it on a whim, you did everything right and now you are grieving a little for the life you left behind, don,t worry it will all go away, you will be fine give it at least a year and see how you feel then ok. Use this Forum to ask and talk things out it is the 'bible' of Cyprus.

We too left a family home of twenty years behind I don,t think about it anymore I am too busy living a life here, we have been here nearly three years, there WILL be ups and downs but one day soon you will have much less downs. Good Luck Smile


Lyn, excellent, will you talk to me on a couch for a fee?? Laughing Laughing Laughing


Hey now thats an idea Idea


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Post: #14   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:40 am Reply with quote
mikelen
Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Pictures: 0
Location: Cambridge

 
Deb

Regarding Skype....if you downloaded in UK have a look at bottom right of your screen & you may see a green egg shaped icon with a tick in it....double click on it & it will open Skype for you....double click on the contact you are calling....I am presuming you have built in microphone and/or headset.

Good luck
Mike
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Post: #15   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:27 pm Reply with quote
Andrew Brooks
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 2736
Pictures: 0
Location: Larnaca

 
mikelen wrote:
Deb

Regarding Skype....if you downloaded in UK have a look at bottom right of your screen & you may see a green egg shaped icon with a tick in it....double click on it & it will open Skype for you....double click on the contact you are calling....I am presuming you have built in microphone and/or headset.

Good luck
Mike



And you don't need credit to make a video call to someone else .
My wife talks with her 92 year old father in the UK every day for nothing. He bought a laptop especially for the purpose.
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Post: #16   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:54 pm Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
Talk about when it rains, it pours! My mum had a new knee joint fitted on tuesday, she's 76 so it was a big op for her. The op went fine though, but on friday she fell in the shower in the hospital. She doesn't like to make a fuss plus she was deperate to go home, so when the doctor said they'd do an x-ray she told them that the pain was minimal and not to bother! She finally got an x-ray at 7pm last night. She had been with the physio this morning going up and down a set of stairs and when she got back to her bed her doctor was waiting and he told her that she has fracrured her spine!!!! She is now having to liie completely flat and will probably be fitted with a back brace for 2 months. My sister is due to go in hospital for an operation on tuesday, but will now have to cancel as my mum won't be able to help out with my niece as was planned.
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Post: #17   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:44 pm Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
Hi Mike,
Good advice regarding the skype, I finally managed to work it!!! All I need now is to get the broadband wireless and I'll be laughing!
Deb
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Post: #18   PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:20 pm Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
I have just had a lovely video call through skype with my daughter Lizzie. It was great to see her face and for the first time neither of us cried!!! She is going to stay my sons house in a couple of weeks as its his 21st birthday and he's having a party at a club in manchester. I wish we could be there for his birthday,but I'm sure he'll have just as good a time without us. I just need him and my elder daughter to sort out their skype and I will feel happier to be able to see them when we talk.
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Post: #19   PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:11 am Reply with quote
deb49
Joined: 22 Jul 2009
Posts: 78
Pictures: 0
Location: oroklini/manchester

 
I've just called cyta and at last have wireless broadband, Hurray!!!!!! Very Happy
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Post: #20   PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:19 am Reply with quote
mikelen
Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 240
Pictures: 0
Location: Cambridge

 
Great news you have Skype up & running. I think you will find it makes things so much easier for you.

Mike
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