Cyprus Eastern Forum Archive
|This is a text archive version of our main content. To view the full site with more information, features, formatting and images please click here.|
|<<< Newer Topics||Older Topics >>>|
| ... |
|Actual Letter to the Passport Office |
| Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, a ... |
|St Patrick's Day |
. ... |
|A Guide to the British |
| Typical Brit?
• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”
• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”
• Not hearing someone ... |
| A man gets shipwrecked on a small island. After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftain.
The tribe's high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have s ... |
| ... |
|Tech Support |
| ... |
|Downing Street - Carpenter Wanted |
| ... |
|debit cards |
| Has anyone had problems with BOC debit cards. tried to use it twice at vets yesterday & declined. went to bank & tried their ATM which worked & let me withdraw money. so didnt bother going in to ask as thought ... |
|George Carlin |
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLODGhEyLvk ... |
|New specs |
| A guy goes to an optician to buy some new glasses. He looks at the display to choose a style. Prices: €100, to €300. Then he sees a pair for €2000. "What's this!" he says "€2000, it can't be true". The optician days "try the ... |
|May's visit to Merkel |
(Times, 12/12/2018) ...
|Christmas Present - gloves & knickers |
| A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland.
Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after ... |
|The Big (UK) Debate |
| Feels like:|
(From Private Eye No. 1481)
(P.E. 1483) ...
|Truly awful Christmas jokes |
| Q. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Q. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A. A Holly Davidson!
Q. What happens to elves when they are naughty?
A. Santa gives them th ... |
|Christmas - 1 |
| “All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”....................so, he killed them. :shock: |
| Doctor asks a pregnant Prostitute " Do you know who the father is."
The Prostitute replies." For Cryin out' aloud! If you ate a tin of baked beans would you know which one made you fart." ... |
|Irish Hunting Trip |
| Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small
plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot
said the pla ... |
|Morning Sex |
| ... |
|Data protection |
| The doctor's assistant comes into the waiting room and announces:
"Due to data restrictions, we are not allowed to announce the names of patients. Who is the gentleman with syphilis?" ... |
|'Private Eye' cover, No. 1480 |
| ... |
|Your favourite film |
| As long as I can remember, I have loved math tricks. This one really works!
It will take you only about ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite film.
I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in ... |
| A man comes into an opticians to buy a pair of glasses. He looks at the prices and sees there is a pair that costs 2000 pounds. He asks the lady optician how can they cost 2000 pounds - that's a crazy price for spectacles! S ... |