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debit cards

Has anyone had problems with BOC debit cards. tried to use it twice at vets yesterday & declined. went to bank & tried their ATM which worked & let me withdraw money. so didnt bother going in to ask as thought ...



George Carlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLODGhEyLvk ...

New specs

A guy goes to an optician to buy some new glasses. He looks at the display to choose a style. Prices: €100, to €300. Then he sees a pair for €2000. "What's this!" he says "€2000, it can't be true". The optician days "try the ...

May's visit to Merkel


(Times, 12/12/2018) ...

Christmas Present - gloves & knickers

A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after ...

The Big (UK) Debate

Feels like:
(From Private Eye No. 1481)
(P.E. 1483) ...

Truly awful Christmas jokes

Q. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? A. Claustrophobia! Q. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A. A Holly Davidson! Q. What happens to elves when they are naughty? A. Santa gives them th ...

Christmas - 1

“All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”....................so, he killed them. :shock:
...





Prostitute

Doctor asks a pregnant Prostitute " Do you know who the father is." The Prostitute replies." For Cryin out' aloud! If you ate a tin of baked beans would you know which one made you fart." ...

Irish Hunting Trip

Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the pla ...

Morning Sex

...

Data protection

The doctor's assistant comes into the waiting room and announces: "Due to data restrictions, we are not allowed to announce the names of patients. Who is the gentleman with syphilis?" ...

'Private Eye' cover, No. 1480

...

Your favourite film

As long as I can remember, I have loved math tricks. This one really works! It will take you only about ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite film. I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in ...

Spectacles

A man comes into an opticians to buy a pair of glasses. He looks at the prices and sees there is a pair that costs 2000 pounds. He asks the lady optician how can they cost 2000 pounds - that's a crazy price for spectacles! S ...




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