Cyprus Eastern Forum Archive
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|Posted By: mountainman|
| One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
> When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
> sacrifice and gave up beans.
> Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
> from work.
> Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him
> that I would be late because I had to walk home.
> On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
> more than I could stand.
> With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects
> the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew
>it, I had
> consumed three large orders of baked beans.
> All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
> Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
> delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
> telephone rang.
> He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
> went to answer the call.
> The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
> pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of
> the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
> It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
> over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The
> stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
> Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
> room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
> The pleasure was indescribable.
> When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my
> freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
> placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very
> relieved and pleased with myself.
> My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
> returned, apologizing for taking so long.
> He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him
> I had not.
> At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
> seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|Posted By: welshy|
| :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:|