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Posted By: Road Warrior

That's a quacker .....................................



Posted By: Yvette

Once upon a time, an English woman died and went to heaven, when she got to the heavenly gates she was met by a little, fat, very ugly, slightly balding man. "Hello my dear" he said, "My name is St Peter and I'm going to look after you today and show you what to do" And he took her arm and led her to a beautiful meadow with thousands of ducks running around in it. "Now" said St Peter "I'm going to leave you here for a while to get adjusted and you just make yourself right at home, but whatever you do, under no circumstances whatsover must you tread on a duck". "No, I wont do that", said the woman looking puzzled and with that St Peter smiled an angelic smile and promptly disappeared for a month. The woman had a lovely time for a few weeks, going about her heavenly business, making new friends and gaily avoiding the ducks but then one day, then inevitable happened and she accidentally trod on a duck! St Peter appeared immediately with the ugliest man she'd ever seen, even uglier than him!. "What did you do?, I told you not to step on a duck! Now I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to chain you to this man for eternity" And with that, she was promptly chained to the ugly man for eternity. A few weeks later another English woman arrived in heaven and in the same manner was met by St Peter who explained to her about not stepping on the ducks before leaving her to settle in. The woman faced with such dire warnings was determined not to step on a duck, but one evening after a few heavenly Gin and Tonics too many with her mates in the meadow bar, she succumbed and trod on one. St Peter appeared instantly with another horrendously ugly man and proceeded to chain them together for eternity. A month passed and a Russian woman arrived, St Peter met her and went through the usual procedure warning her about the perils of stepping on a duck, and off she went. A few weeks passed and she hadn't stepped on a duck and she was feeling very proud of herself, she felt that she had become quite adept at avoiding them in fact. All of a sudden St Peter appeared with a Greek God, he was the most gorgeous hunk of a man that she'd ever laid eyes on.............and proceeded to chain them together before vanishing. The woman looked at the vision chained to her in amazement? "Wow, what did I do to deserve you? she mused in broken English. "I don't know about you" he said, "But I stepped on one of those soddin ducks......."

Posted By: tannis

:lol: :lol: Tracey x


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